♥
Friday
buck up girl. everything else can fail you not not yourself.
you cannot start crying now. it isnt time yet. even if you have to kick some butt alone, you ought to do it. ARGH!
this night is all we've got
you cannot start crying now. it isnt time yet. even if you have to kick some butt alone, you ought to do it. ARGH!
♥
Thursday
I really don't care if it makes me a bitch for this for I have seen more true colours in this 2 weeks than other chapters of my life. I really don't care if you read my blog, thinking i don't know you do. But, the truth is stabbing in your back, I am reading yours too. everyone is linked, remember that. and i do not pick up hints as and when i like, i pick them up and never forget them.
♥
Sunday
listening to an extremely small selection of piano instrumentals
very unknown and the mystery makes me listen
tonight, is not the night i pour out my heart
and using my heart to put through an image about everything that i care about
my heart i put into it
god, please help me work this out
the courage i seek for every move i made tonight
be a piece of the beautiful things you let us see from this world
i find peace within
♥
Friday
I know i wasnt feeling very good about yesterday
today was pretty much alright
and i definitely solved the problem yesterday
it only made me feel better when i was sitting in a bus
looking at the first car plate i see
9372 it says
and counted the numbers together
did you know if the car plate number adds up to 21 it would be your very lucky day
well its been a long time since i counted a 21
probably months
but it felt fantastic
silly but definitely fantastic =)
can you believe it? i am blogging into the net on the bus!
♥
i offically have no one i want to talk to that would understand what i am going through now.
♥
Thursday
I just backspaced twenty over lines of words describing friendship and crap
bullshit,if you call youself my friend
i dun trust you no more
no more means no way,never will,ever.
everybody gives
no one more
no one less
for people who fucking compare, you guys should fucking open your shitty eyes and take a look at those who do give a fucking damn and slap the shit out of yourselves for only facing your back at them.
♥
Wednesday
2.22am That's when I think of you. I bet you didnt know that. =)
I drew henna tattoos today
tribal on her
my art piece on me(last)
can you tell what animal it is?
dry up man... stupid tattoo.
♥
Tuesday
There is nothing wrong in being in love with moments that you had before
but the above sentence is not suppose to be the only one that is on your mind
if you think being in love with that moment is stopping life to be near it
you're wrong
if you think this will help u recreate the beloved moment
you're wrong again
if you were to live in that moment now it would be different
then if everyone relive their moments, whose not gonna be stuck in illusions
snap out of it, i have the moments i love too
for those moments that i love, i continue to move on in life to have more moments like those
♥
Monday
if we were in shakesphere just like romeo and juliet
maybe not exactly like romeo and juliet but just two juliets
we would probably change history in books to come
if only we were juliets
we may not get found out and we dun need no acceptance
if we were juliets
timing wouldnt be a problem
if we were juliets, we die together and never at the wrong moments
would you die with me if you could?
♥
i asked him if his quotation was wrong about the part that says,
"enjoy the rainbow during the storm"
he said
it isnt wrong
we need the storm to have rainbows
doesnt it sound like life to you?
♥
Thursday
it's amazing how i hate everything and still is alive today
i hate v day
i hate myself
i totally hate everything
♥
Wednesday
i think i am seriously observing too much and thinking too much about my surrounding
just hours ago
i was sitting in the mrt looking an a primary school convent girl
like me when i was young
instead of thinking she will grow up to be a fine young lady
i thought about "ya, grow up and get fucked"
seriously, my mind is fucked up
and then the next train ride
i really heard a old lady scolding what the fuck loudly with her son in front of her
seriously, the earth is fucked and so am i
♥
you asked me what do i really want
the thing is the things i really want cannot be bought
do you know what these things are?
♥
Sunday
curry for a whole day while waitin for you
♥
Saturday
like a treadmill, life just keeps going on.
u run whether u like it or not.
whether u can breathe, or you're thirsty.
it just wunt get any better.
the aching wunt stop, the gastric wunt stop.
basically whether u see blurry things,
it's almost a life running on the spot.
not moving forward, not moving backward.
is this the life that everyone has without yearning
and those who yearn and move forwards canot get enough.
in the end when i stop running,
the floating sensation wunt stop.
den i have to keep running again,
run and run and run,
life is such a freaking terrible treadmill.
till the
♥
Friday
clubbing on new year is pretty happening
in short, stalker, sugar pebbles, shots, jugs, making out.
the music really sucked. but i won the first cash angbao of $88 FREAKING BUCKS!
i think i really used up all my luck there lol!
and the hilarious part about running to another place to urine
running and laughing and screaming for toliet
it was okay. =)
♥
Thursday
i know i am the one who put that smile on your face. pls come home soon.
♥
blah blah blah, yes i know it is the rat year and i started it by talking too much today. btw rat is a suspcious year. cunning and small. =)
and the first 15 minutes of the cny, sugar pebble had to come up with a story as below:
Clay. drop it now, baby. says:
come stay at my home tml
Clay. drop it now, baby. says:
i mean today
bellanova says:
areyou mad
Clay. drop it now, baby. says:
quite
Clay. drop it now, baby. says:
it's the rat year
Clay. drop it now, baby. says:
WHAT U EXPECT ME TO BE?
Clay. drop it now, baby. says:
the elephant?
bellanova says:
snorts
bellanova says:
can also!
Clay. drop it now, baby. says:
posting this on my blog
bellanova says:
tell you the story of the elephant and the mouse k
Clay. drop it now, baby. says:
okie
bellanova says:
once, there was a mouse who was very proud of himself. he thought he was the biggest and strongest animal in the world
bellanova says:
of the whole forest at least
Clay. drop it now, baby. says:
*looks at you with big brown puppy eyes*
bellanova says:
one day, there was a rumor that there was an animal called the elephant who is the strongest and the biggest
bellanova says:
the mouse was afronted. he couldnt believe it. he decided to go out to look for this elephant and challenge him
bellanova says:
his uncle tried to dissuade him but the mouse was insistent
bellanova says:
so he left
bellanova says:
the first animal he met was a fox. he asked 'are you the elephant?'
bellanova says:
the fox said 'no.. why? the elephant is a big and strong animal. im not him.'
bellanova says:
the mouse snorted 'i am the biggest and the strongest animal!'
bellanova says:
the fox laughed and left the mouse there
bellanova says:
the mouse went on, and met a tiger. he asked the tiger if he was the elephant
bellanova says:
the humble tiger said 'no i'm not. but he is the biggest and the strongest animal in the forest.'
bellanova says:
the mouse was now very annoyed with these lying animals
Clay. drop it now, baby. says:
kidding me wor
bellanova says:
he came to rest under a tree trunk and he heard a sound
bellanova says:
he turned around to see if he had finally met the elephant
bellanova says:
but a shot of water sprayed him strongly back to his home
bellanova says:
where his uncle was waiting for him with a towel
Clay. drop it now, baby. says:
nice uncle
bellanova says:
the mouse lifted his fist up 'i could have fought the elephant! if it wasnt for that rainstorm!"
bellanova says:
LOL
Clay. drop it now, baby. says:
RIGHT
♥
Wednesday
i dunno about all of this.
i am so not ready to face today, new year, tml's visitings.
it kills me.
i totally am not prepared to wear any new clothes for tml.
i seriously should get my shirt done by today.
that includes the lil packing i didnt managed to finish ytd.
imagine. packing till 5am.
absolutely crazy.
GOD.
but yes. i threw so much away. =)
and today i am gonna go through my clothes and donate everything i can.
and throw my clothes in for wash.
it's also time for us to waste our money on parties.
woohoo! =) god, i am so excited now.
in jus a blog entry's time, i am so ready for new year. =)
♥
it's like a 12 hour marathon
except this is to clean up my own room
they say spring cleaning before the new year
whatever it is, singapore sure is not having spring
so i did a mini transformation in my room, targeting major objects
and trying to hide as many items as i can in my cupboards and drawers
gonna keep trying tml
love the peeps i've been meeting lately
the chats the gatherings
and the season of bitching has come for me
watch out,people! =)
♥
Tuesday
moments like this may never last
a moment when your room starts to spin a mess
a moment when a light hearted song plays in your entire room
a moment when you lie in your bed not worrying to rush out the next hour
a moment when you feel like you are going to give up more of your sad past
a moment that has no hatred, love, sadness.
do you know what kind of moment is that?
it's the kind of moment where having yourself is enough
and well, anything extra is a blessing.
you're my blessing.
♥
it was more than being a thief, not just hide and seek for little children
the stone table was still cold even from the afternoon heat
my ramly. i had to nibble on it before it gets cold
i got a new found friend who slowly sits on the seat, staring at my only meal
a furry stray thing with whites and a big black back
as if someone has carelessly spilled black paint on it
i was hoping it would meow but instead it kept staring
kept staring at my only meal
i gave in and picked at the excess egg and throw it across to it
it gladly sniffed and pawed it towards itself
after a few pieces of that, in exchange he sat on the table like a guard
protecting me and giving me some attention for a few minutes before
jumping off and disappearing
that was my ten-minutes-void-deck-friend.
♥
Sunday
she was sitting on a ledge that was 4 floors or more alone
when gravity pulls her backwards and down
down to the common carpark floor on the ground level of her school
it wasnt long she realised she was looking at the sky and the ledge
that she was sitting on a while longer
she couldn t feel her limbs and dart up and down
darting her eyes around in panic
stiff as she felt, it was starting to look so weird to her
as she managed to tilt her head she saw blood flowing outwards from her
a constant flow, among it, scatter many broken pieces of teeth
the scream she longed for didnt come
the only things that manage to struggle were her eyes
starting to look like they were dropping out too
her last few moments alive
was not felt in actions of tears, cries, nothing
the way she left was imprinted on the mind of the lecturer
who screamed from the ledge that she fell
accidental and fatal
♥
Saturday
you could not believe what surprised me when i got home JUST A MOMENT AGAIN
-*shriek like u can imagine*-
the freaking necklace i wanted!!!!!
for those who understand this necklace, it's glass fused.
and this necklace is my first statement after a woman-loving year.
thanks baby, it meant a lot to me. i absolutely love it. my new pipi. =P
♥
it's been a really long time since i said fuck like i really meant it even if i think back about it after a few years.
for some reason, it felt good.
i
will
jump
too.
Heartmeter: im feeling purple~